Cullen's a Fraud
by The Flame in All of Us
Summary: OK so there is a horrible truth that someone found out...How will Edward react to it? Please R and R! One-shot


**The Flame: OK this is just for a joke, so if you can't handle a fucking joke DO NOT READ! **

**Darren: *laughs like a maniac***

**Harkat: *shakes head in wonder* Sometimes...I wonder why...I hang out...with you.**

**Darren: *continues laughing***

**The Flame: OK... So I don't own Darren Shan or Twilight...Warning: Weirdness will occur...Please R and R!**

One day-or night as I should say, Darren Shan and his pal, Harkat Mulds were skipping merrily inside the forest in which was in the presence of Vampire Mountain. It was a frightful night, especially in the forest. The forest was a dark, gloomy place and added to the ominous looking sky it was terrifying to most people and those people would never walk out on a night like this. Apparently, Darren and Harkat were not like most people-unique if you can call it that. You see, Darren is a half-vampire and Harkat is a Little Person...

The two friends were skipping for awhile now and Harkat was getting bored.

"Hey...Dar-" Harkat barely spoke, when Darren clamped his hand over the Little Person's mouth.

"Shhh! Voices," was all he said. And sure enough they heard voices.

"Are you sure no one's around?" asked a voice which was strangely familiar to Darren. They crept towards the voices.

"Yes, I am positive. Who would come out during a night like this?" Both Harkat and Darren stifled a gasp at this. The voice speaking was none other than Lady Evanna! By now, they were in view of the two voices. But who they saw were...Lady Evanna (which confirmed their theory) and Edward Cullen! Their mouthes hung open at this. But eventually, they closed their mouthes. Now though, they were watching the unfolding scene very intently.

Edward groaned. "Just gimme my damned potion already!"

"Jeez you're sassy. You do know the properties of it don't you?"

"Yes, of course!" the sparkling idiot lied. His patience ran out and he grabbed his precious potion from Lady Evanna. And in return, Evanna bitch-slapped him.

"Owww! Why'd you do that?"

"Cause you grabbed it out of my hands! Has your mother ever taught you _any_ manners? And where's my money? You know making someone look and feel like a Cullen vampire is hard work!" Hearing Evanna's rant, Darren and Harkat let out a huge gasp. And abruptly, they jumped out of their hiding place and stared daggers at the fraud.

"Dude! You ARE a FRAUD! I knew it!" With that, Darren lost his cool, grabbed Harkat by the shoulders, and shook him like a madman whilst saying over and over again,"I KNEW IT!" Meanwhile, Evanna and the to-be-damned-pedophile stood rooted to their spot.

"Darren...Darren! For...the damned sake's DARREN SHAN!" Finally, Darren stopped shaking Harkat.

"Thank...you."

"Your welcome Lil' Dude." Harkat rolled his eyes. Next, Darren directed his attention to Evanna. " How could you?" he asked.

"Well...he was paying me..." Evanna said relunctantly.

"But you're better than that, Lady Evanna! And as for you-," Darren glared at Edward "-You are a disgrace to this clan-" But before Darren could continue, Edward spoke.

"I don't belong to your clan."

"You belong to the vampaneze?"

"No, are you deaf? To the Cullens, DUH!"

"Idoit," Harkat muttered.

Edward gasped. "I am not!"

"But you are," said Lady Evanna with a smirk.

Edward growled at that. "You know what-"

"Friendly advice: You shouldn't be worried about that," Darren pointed out.

"What? Why, not?"

"Cause you fucking reputation si going down the drain," Darren smirked, whilst pulling out his phone. "Tweeting is fun isn't it, Harkat?" Harkat following on his plan pulled out his phone as well. Lady Evanna was also following...

Edward, finally getting somewhere, screamed..."AHHHH! No, no, no! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't DO IT! I'M BEGGING YOU." But alas, he was too late. The tweet has been tweeted. And Edward died moments later of his lost reputation...

**The Flame: Ok flaming is accepted but I gotta say that this wasn't one of my best...OK I rushed I did this in what? Like 2 minutes? Anyways please review!**


End file.
